OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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