im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
