; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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