Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
