God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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