I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
