I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
