i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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