UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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