I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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