At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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