So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
