READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
