So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
