As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
