her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
