2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
