I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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