her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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