Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
