the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They have beer where we have blood.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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