This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
