he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
is that a dick in a sweater?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
