fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
