We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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