let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
