i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
