your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
