how can u be prego again
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
