You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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