I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
