Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize