who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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