TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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