Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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