Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
