I wannas sexs uuuuu
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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