Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
