people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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