I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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