Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
