I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
