You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
