what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
