I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize