Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously

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(732): View more from New Jersey

ice luge is my downfall...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...u mean upfall.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu

(781): View more from Massachusetts

So you're taking me there this weekend?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it

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(210): View more from Texas

Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia

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(443): View more from Maryland

No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling

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(256): View more from Alabama

Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(

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(440): View more from Ohio

You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.

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