New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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