I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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