Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
