Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
