You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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