Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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