Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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