Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
