Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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