So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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