I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
