Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
