this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
