day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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