so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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