so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Also, beer. Big fan.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
