Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
