if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize