Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
