He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
