my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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