Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
