is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
